Welcome to my adventures in adoption! I look forward to sharing with you the good, the bad and the ugly.
Hang on to your hats! It has been a rough ride and none of us has emerged unscathed.
All these statements have applied to me at one time or another:
- My child has attachment issues
- I look endlessly for supports that just aren’t there
- My child doesn’t qualify for respite services
- CAS told me that in order to adopt, I have to prove I can do it all by myself with my own supports. Bullshit. But to reach out would have meant there was something wrong with me and I’m just not as good as the other parents. Bullshit.
- My child drive me crazy
- You think my child is an angelic, quiet, perfect child
- My child manipulates you
- My child lies alot
- I am alone
- I feel alone
- Others just don’t get it
- I have googled: How to be a better parent…; How to parent a child with attachment…; Empowering parents;
- I have read books like: Secrets of discipline; How to talk so your kids will listen; Parenting the adopted child, and so much more
- I have sat in front of my computer and cried
- I have lost work because of my inability to focus and produce
- I have lost friends or relationships
- I feel judged even by closest friends and family members
- I have looked up the definition of: sociopath
- I have googled: I hate my son/daughter and read other stories, just to feel like I am not alone
- I am at times mad, resentful, disappointed, frustrated, burnt-out, ready to quit, stressed, frazzled
- I avoid people
- I look in the mirror and ask myself: What happened to me? Who is this miserable, sad person? Where is that spontaneous, loving, adventurous, joking person I used to know?
- My child’s constant rages and outbursts due to trauma have caused trauma in my other child: anxiety, depression, isolation. Social services don’t care about this other child. Various therapies, attachment programs, etc. don’t care about the welfare of this child. My problem, not theirs. Bullshit.